Lowfield Ducks Get the Horn! | Elland Today Forums

No this isn't a post about some strange mutant duck species (though considering the river in Elland I wouldn't be surprised), it seems for the Premier Way ducks love is in the air.

"Awwwww" you may be thinking "isn't it nice", well NO these ducks are dangerous!!! I have witnessed several normally innocent and harmless (though a bit mouthy) ducks chasing random workers from the Lowfields Business Park. There are 3 rather randy and now belligerent  ducks chasing one poor female duck, sure she may like the attention but this increase in duck hormones is a reason to give them a fairly wide berth.

As Premier Way is a busy road within Lowfields Business park, should a driver of a large truck swerve to avoid the ducks in question there could be dire consequences for the workers of the way themselves.

We may also see Duck hunters roaming the way in the early hours, or maybe even Elland locals hunting their for their dinner in these hard times.

An interesting and possibly worrying development would ensue if those male ducks were fast enough to catch their woman of the moment. I mean can you imagine hoards of horny ducks running around Premier Way? "Ah but I don't work on Premier Way" your thinking, well Premier Way could just be the beginning.

A brave I.T (a turn it off and on again type) worker managed to take the pictures you can see here, risking his ankles in the process. Though thinking about it that does look like an Elmer Fudd style duck hunting hat he is wearing, so maybe he is just taking pictures to show his hunting friends his next target?

If there are any duck lovers (in a purely non sexual sense) reading this maybe you can get the ducks their own room until their hormones subside to normal levels, this would be a safer option for all parties concerned.

I encourage all brave workers of the way to usher the ducks back into the river and teach the male ducks the benefit's of birth control, only then can we escape a wave of aggressive horny ducks rampaging through our place of work and maybe Elland beyond!

Any duck ushering is undertaken at the duck usherer's own risk, we at Elland Today do not take any responsibility for injury to the duck or duck usherer's.

*Update*

The Ducks are intent on staying it would seem, they now have their own twitter account @lowfieldducks.

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